but in reality…

…none of them is getting laid.

The PC is clearly on a mid-life crisis, he’s off to buy a convertible and drive around high-schools to impress young chicks, after realizing that’s not going to work out, he’ll try exploring the night life, scaring away every woman he tries to establish contact with at the disco. He’ll spend every late evening alone, at home learning VB so he can further develop his ninja-like excel skills to the point where he no longer inputs formulas as he will eventually be one with the system. PC will be cast away into oblivion when one day he’ll create by accident a faulty macro that will crash excel and thus be dependent of the utterly useless “recover your lost document” from excel.

Mac with his boyish looks and shaving-chest habits is a perfect pray for mature women out on the hunt. He’ll be bought drinks and older women will appreciate how easily Mac handles everything they throw at him, his “let it flow” attitude get’s older women in the mood. He’ll screw things up when after the last Margarita they go off the her place (the dorm hardly seems appropriate since two of his room mates have serious BO problems) and he insists he wants to record everything with isight to later edit with imovie and mix it up with Barry White he downloaded with itunes, eventually he’ll post everything on his .mac personal page and create dvd’s with director comments he’ll author with idvd and spread it around his close group of chosen bullies. she’ll get pissed because her grandsons linger around youtube and meta-cafe and it would end up there anyway so…. i’mout. illseeya. i…you get the idea. the only place you’ll post this video is on youwish.

Linux spends his nights at freenode and IM’ing, he uses jabber, but chicks don’t do jabber. so he’ll eventually create (against his personal belief system) an msn account and log on to msn messenger (still using kopete, of course!), he’ll create a profile that he’ll update on regular basis, he’ll describe his love for foreign beers, GNU and all things Debian, joins the “matches for you” and engages in meaningful conversation with young girls with Live Journal accounts. He’ll eventually join Live Journal and starts developing for the platform (since it’s open source, it’s OK), he soon notices that the really smart chicks are actually on wordpress so he switches services, creating a python script that gets the exported XML from LiveJournal and then parses the entire LJ blog itself to download photos, which it then indexes, cross-references with the exported XML and creates another XML (photo ready) that he can import to worpress stress-free. So the posts are all there, all the geekery and imported beer stravaganza and he’ll start tagging away like crazy, soon enough he’ll be a major reference in technorati and be digged for every post he makes regarding the code superiority of deskbar compared to spotlight or google’s desktop app. He’ll eventually be recruited by Suse to be a fulltime developer, get pissed when Novell kills Suse and eventually move to develop for some obscure commercial BSD flavour. For the past 4 years he did not hear from his female friends from Live Journal.